I attended a job recruitment session at 'HBOS' which has some links to the bank I'm with, Halifax and all the other names they go by in different places…

Two days ago, much later than they said they would be in touch, I had my phone interview and, in good fashion was told I'd get a call back yesterday but got it today.

I succeeded and have to attend a session of some kind this Friday if I get a form in the post in time and fill it in before going. Not sure what is supposed to happen if I don't get it, with all the snow and bad weather lately post has been very slow.

But anyway, that's not the point of this, my point lends more to the ideal of working. The job is vastly more working hours than I want. I'm being pressured by 3 friends to get a job and this one especially since my application is going so well. It'll do me good, and I can pay my side of the bills and get my own food and all the same old stuff lol

My Dad supports the idea, but worries about my health and how such a sudden change could effect me. I'm worried about it too, I know I need to get some more regular exercise and build a routine, which should help improve my blood pressure and possibly help with other pains I've got. But I'm more so worried about the struggle I'm going to go through before any benefits come along.

I'd be working a minimum of 40 hours a week, apparently with alternating weekends which could be anything, but for 40 hours alone makes me feel sick, literally!
Many could scoff at that, 40 hours is normal, right?

It lends me to wonder, am I just someone who values the notion of being more free and less tied down with contracted work at set hours each day of each week for year after year?
I'll get lots of money to play around with… sure, but what good is that if I don't even have the time to appreciate what I can do with it?
Am I just a big kid kicking and screaming his way into really becoming an adult?

I know this job isn't going to be one I'll wake up eager to go to work for, the very notion of what I'd be doing is against my nature. I'm not persuasive, I'm a push over. I don't tell people what they should or shouldn't do, I'm not charismatic or powerfully spoken.
I'm a shy and quiet person who likes to relax and watch the world go by, not be a part of the endless hustle and bustle.

The last time I tried to argue my point in a discussion I nearly cried, I'm sure my friends who I was talking with noticed it too. I'm weak with spoken words, too fragile in mind and heart to be fluent and cognitive.
How can it be that things some people find easy I struggle with all my might and still come out with so little I'm swatted away?

So, at the end of it all. The nigh uncountable amount of sighs I've let out just writing this and the number of times I've just wanted to quit and get one of my potential last day time naps for a long time, I beg to know, am I wrong with how I feel about all this?

All I'd be is a telephone sales person, trying to sell savings accounts to numbers on a list most likely and to anyone dumb enough to call up the centre and land on me picking up their call.

I feel as though I don't have enough time to spend with my friends as it is, with a job that hefty I am going to lose even more time to try spread out for everyone. It's not fair…